The Big Day - Part One

Well, here's Baby Lex's birth story....

So, since Lex hadn't decided to come yet, and seeing as I was nearing 41 weeks, the doctors decided that induction was the way to go. I had asked to be induced earlier, since he was getting so big, but the hospital policy is to wait til 41 weeks to try and give my body the chance it needs to start on its own. And since that didn't happen, they didn't want to wait longer than that since the placenta can start to wear down and not provide the support to baby Lex as well. So 41 weeks it is!

I called the hospital Sunday to see what time my induction would be and found out that I was scheduled at 6:00 pm, but since there was another induction scheduled at the same time, they asked if I could come in at 6:30 pm to give the receptionist/nurses time with the paperwork. Sure. I didn't think it would be that late in the evening, but whatever. At least it was finally happening.

So Lance and I got prepared, double, triple checked our bags for everything, and played the waiting game: trying to be interested in TV, checking Facebook, playing games on our phones...anything to stay occupied and our minds off the time in hopes that it would move along faster. By 5:30 we really started getting ready, went to the bathroom, checked our bags (again) and just as we were heading out the door with everything in hand the hospital called and asked if I could come in at 9 since several other women had come in in labor and they were busy.... Sure. Sigh. More waiting.

Then 9 rolled around and we finally left. Check in was a cinch since I had already registered us at the hospital. They took us to our delivery room, we dumped our bags, and then it was time to get into a gown, get into bed and get ready to be induced. Which was a small (really small) pill they insert to get my body going. No big deal. And it works.

The contractions started happening fairly quickly and not really that bad. However since they were a pretty consistent two minutes apart it made it hard to fall asleep. So that didn't happen. (Really wish I had taken a Sunday nap during all our waiting around time). And my goodness, the couch they had for Lance was the sorriest thing. It was loud, rickety, and was barely long enough for his head and chest; his legs and feet he had to hang over the arm rest. So no sleep for Lance either. (again, Sunday nap would have been awesome).

And since my contractions were keeping me up, and the couch was keeping Lance from sleeping, Lance went out to get some food in the middle of the night, about 12:00. And because the nurses said I could still eat as long as my contractions weren't killing me. They weren't. So Burger King chicken fingers!! :) Then another pill to keep me going and just waiting around.

And things started kicking into gear early Monday morning, so much so that my contractions were really starting to hurt. I hadnt' even been given Pitocin (a labor inducing drug) and things were getting intense. So I asked the nurses about an epidural. And since there were a lot of other moms going through the same thing as me, I could either get my epidural now, or wait an hour and a half till the anesthesiologist finished with a c-section..... I opted to get it then since the contractions were fast, a minute or two apart, and bad (tears).

Now, getting an epidural is tricky. You have to sit up (inside of lay on your side like you have the entire time thus far), and bend over your huge stomach and hunch so the anesthesiologist can see your spine and the gaps in between. Needless to say with such quick contractions, I struggled to not move as he tried several times to get it in the right spot. It was tough. It didn't hurt too much, but felt really weird to have him keep hitting the bone because it would shoot a weird tingly feeling down my back and legs. Finally the nurse helped me bend over enough and he was able to get it in place, inject the drugs (again weird feeling) and tape my cord to my back. And according to Lance there was a surprisingly large amount of blood since he didn't get it in right away. But I didn't mind since I couldn't feel it anyway. I did however get sick to my stomach. I was lucky enough to not throw up once during pregnancy, but the combination of epidural, my blood pressure dropping as a result of the epidural, and being rotated to my left side did it for me. Mind you it was barely anything since I'd not really eaten for a long time.

ah, epidural what a great invention you were. I could still feel the pressure of my contractions but not the pain associated with it. From 7:00 am onward it was Pitocin, contractions and my lovely epidural. I started to progress quickly, so we called my mom to come on down, little did we know that it would take a bit longer...

The doctor broke my water sometime before I got an epidural and noticed that it was a bit green in color which meant that the baby had pooped while still inside me and that because of this, he would have to be whisked away quickly to get his lungs suctioned out to prevent him from getting infected by having inhaled meconium. It meant that Lance wouldn't be able to cut the cord and that for the first few minutes he would be handled by the doctors. It wasn't that big a deal, so we weren't worried about it.

The whole time I'm having contractions and going through what the nurses call "active" labor I had to lay on my right side. Every time I'd go to switch onto my left, my contractions would spread out, lessen in intensity and baby's heart rate would drop. So the right side it was for a good 16 plus hours. They would rotate me a little bit to give my right side a small break, but not much. It was bad. My right side got hard core bed grooves, really red and there was talk that I might even get bed sores from being on that side way too much. My muscles definitely got achy.

Around 6:00 in the evening my epidural suddenly ran out. The anesthesiologist who did it set the timer to go off when it was out all the way, instead of setting it to notify the nurses when I had only 15 minutes left. I remember having Lance by my side going through a hard contraction and then the next one hit and Whoa! It was so much more intense and painful. While I pretty much squeezed the crap out of Lance's or Mom's hand for every contraction, these were on a whole different level. I started to cry because they hurt so bad and because I could sense when the next one was going to hit and already dread it. I felt so bad for Lance and Mom because there was nothing they could really do for me except let me damage their fingers and put wet cloths on my forehead. The nurses called for the anesthesiologist and a new guy came in and could tell I was in pain. He even commented how dumb it was for the first guy to not have set up an advance warning timer to let the nurses know I would be running out soon. It was rough. Especially since I had to wait for him to arrive, get the epidural ready, and then another 15 minutes til it would actually kick in. I had nasty contractions for about 45 minutes and it sucked. Big time. I have a new respect for those women who go through labor naturally - kudos to you.

It was also around this time that my progress started to slow. I had dilated to an 8.5/9 and gotten 95% effaced but stayed that way for a while. And during all of this there were nurses coming in every five seconds it felt like, taking my blood pressure, heart rate, checking on baby's heart rate and contraction levels via the internal monitors they placed, checking my progress and getting ice chips when I finally started wanting them. Not a lot of peace and definitely had to lose any reservations about privacy.

So they kept checking me every half hour to an hour. Still 8.5/9 dilation.... They'd come back an hour later... still 8.5/9. I stayed that way for four hours with no further progression.

At ten in the evening, Dr. Broberg (my on-call doctor) started talking c-section. I simply wasn't making any progress and even though my contractions were big ones and frequent, the baby wasn't down far enough to put pressure on my body. Now, I really really didn't want a c-section. Not that there is anything wrong with getting one or having it done, but I really wanted to delivery this baby the old-fashioned way. I wanted the whole labor and delivery experience even if it was going to hurt more or take longer. I wanted to be able to hold my baby right away and not be recovering from major surgery. Dr. Broberg was kind enough to listen to Lance and I's concerns with a c-section and we asked to have another hour to try and get some kind of progress. We increased my Pitocin dose, and waited.

I was getting really really exhausted by this point. I'd been in labor for 27 hours, hadn't slept in almost 48 and had been having contractions, IVs put in and out of me, doctors/nurses checking me all the time and working with Lance on breathing thru my contractions since I had a tendency to forget that and hold my breath. Having a baby is tiring. Really tiring. I started to voice my concerns to Lance that even if I did somehow get closer to delivery that I might not have the strength to push for a few hours. But to me it really felt like I was wimping out. That I'd be disappointing Lance by not trying for delivery. He just wanted me to wait to decide anything til after the hour was up, because hearing I made progress could help motivate me, but if I was still the same, then talking about delivery would be mute.

At 11:45 pm Monday night, Dr. Broberg came back in to see how I was doing..... still an 8.5/9 and 95% effaced. No change. I was going to have to have a c-section. It would be necessary because my body couldn't finish the process and the longer I waited to have a c-section the greater the risk that the baby would  do poorly - either from my body not giving it the nutrients it needed, or raising the risk of infection. We agreed to have the c-section. He left the room, and Lance and I cried. I felt like I had failed Lance by having to have a c-section and not having the strength to finish out a regular delivery. He cried because he knew how much I had wanted a regular delivery myself and that I would have to go thru major surgery. It was disappointing for us both. Thankfully my sweet husband told me not to worry, that he wasn't at all disappointed just sad that I had to go through something that I'd really hoped to avoid. 

Mom had called Dad to come down when it started looking like a c-section was a possibility a few hours ago, and they helped Lance get into his yellow scrubs and kept telling me how everything was going to be OK. They gave me some really powerful drugs and wheeled me into the surgery room.

By now I was starting to feel the effects of the drugs combined with the 28 hour labor and started getting really loopy. I don't remember much. I kept passing in and out of consciousness. I remember them moving me from one bed to the other. Black out. I remember them asking me my name, why I was there and my birthday. Black out. I remember getting my arms strapped down. Black out. I remember them putting up a protective sheet between my neck and the rest of me. I remember Lance saying something to me in Russian. I remember hearing baby Lex cry and thinking "hold on to this moment, he is being born right now. Don't forget this moment." I remember trying to focus on the connector that held up my  protective sheet. I remember brand new baby Lex being put next to my cheek. How tiny he looked. Those chubby cheeks. Lance pulled him away from my face and I really quietly said I was going to throw up. I don't think anybody but Lance heard me so he repeated my statement and they put a bag next to my face for me to turn my head towards and throw up. According to Lance I hadn't even been sewn up yet when I did this. I remember coming to and sensing that Lance was gone with the baby. I tried asking the doctors this to make sure and not knowing if my vocalizations were inside my head or not. It took me a few tries to get it heard and they told me he had been sent back to the room with our son. I remember the doctors telling me how great things went and how well the baby was doing. I remember the anesthesiologist talking about some pilot from TV while they worked on me. I remember part of the hallway when they wheeled me back. And I remember being back in the room with Mom, Dad, Lance and Lex. Getting to see him once more. I didn't have control on anything from the neck down, so it took a while for me to be able to hold him because I didnt' want to run the risk of dropping him.

He was perfect. So cute and small. Nice healthy red color. Chubby cheeks, tiny ears and just perfect. The surgery had started at 12:05 with prep work, they cut into me at 12:25 and Lex was born at 12:30 am Tuesday morning the 17th. He was 9 lbs 4 oz, almost 20 inches (the nurses just put 20 down), and he got a 9 on his Apgar test. He was finally here. Finally.

Almost "Go Time"

Well alright little guy - you win. According to Lance, you "don't want to get out of the pool," so I'm going in to be induced tomorrow night....

It feels kinda bittersweet. I'll miss lying on my back feeling you do somersaults and kick me. I'll miss knowing that you are enjoying the meal I'm eating because you start to move like crazy. I'll miss being able to look down, and watch you wiggle around and rub my stomach affectionately (despite the fact that I'm humongous, have hard core cankles and my ring size is the same as my husband's). :) Pregnancy really has been wonderful. I feel terrific, despite the size of you. Sleeping is a little tricky since I have to rotate from side to side so often, but I love having you in bed with me and Lance. It's been wonderful. Really. I feel so blessed that it's been so easy for me thus far, and hope things go well with the delivery part of things. 

I am a little bit nervous about all of that. You seem big, so I hope you fit... The doctors have said a c-section is possible, but I'm going to try to do all I possibly can to have you come the way I want. But if not, it's not important how you get here, just that you do and you and I are healthy. I'm excited to meet you. To see you, and finally have you in my arms instead of in my stomach. I feel like we have everything ready, well except we probably should get some burp cloths, socks, mittens for your hands so you don't go all Edward Scissorhands on your face.... ah, the list goes on and on. But I'm not worried, if we need something for you, we'll get it. 

Lance and I had a great night last night as we realize that it's one of the last we will have just the two of us. He secretly ordered me a "Hooter Hider" which I totally spaced that I needed since I'm going to try and breastfeed with you. He's so amazing like that. Just surprised me - picked out the fabric and everything for it (your dad has excellent taste - hope you get that from him). Then off to Texas Roadhouse, where things were cooked so well, and we had fun despite waiting forever to get in, but hey it's Provo on a Friday night. Then in an amazing stroke of good luck, the weather was nice and cool and we decided that instead of just coming straight home, we'd take a drive with the windows down and blast as loud as we wanted some of our favorite songs. We just took turns picking favorites and enjoying the wind in our faces. We laughed, reminisced, I sang along sometimes, and you just wiggled like mad when a song with tons of bass started playing. It was awesome. I should have taken a picture of my hair - I looked like an electrocuted crazy person. :)

It's kinda odd that tomorrow we will just go to the hospital to get things started. Though I'm super relieved to not have had my water break anywhere public. In just no time at all, you'll be with us and a completely amazing and nerve-wrecking part of our lives will start. I can't wait. :) 

Well..... some time has passed....

So, um..... I have seriously neglected this blog.... thought about posting a bunch of times, but never really got around to it.

Short story is that I am now 39 weeks pregnant. Yeah....

So, I will do my best to update the in between parts since then. Well, the next appointment was on Valentine's day. And I'll be honest, I was super nervous. In fact, Lance and I celebrated Valentine's the day before by going out to eat at the Roof in Salt Lake (super romantic and amazing food) just in case Valentine's Day itself ended up being a bust. Not that we didn't think we'd be pregnant but I was super worried that something might be wrong with the baby. Not that I had any cause to think something might be wrong, but I have been really paranoid this whole pregnancy. The slightest weird feeling or reading something on the Internet about potential problems and I react to it. Lance has been great - supportive and a real voice of calm and logic during everything so that I don't just take it to the next level for no reason.

Anyway... so the appointment.... :) So we go in and wait....and wait... I was so nervous and just praying that the baby would not be too squirmy so we could find out. The ultrasound tech was awesome, just a cute girl who was really good at pinpointing the spine, feet, head, heart everything. It was very relieving to see that the baby was doing well, nothing unusual. Of course though the legs were tucked underneath Indian style preventing a good look at whether we were having a girl or a boy. So we looked at the head a bunch, took measurements. It was really fun to see our little person in there - it made it feel real. Especially since at this point I couldn't feel the baby move around or anything. For the most part the appointment was fun, we didn't cry or anything (thought we might), and the gel they put on me was nice and warm, however because the head was curled into my pelvic bone, the ultrasound tech had to push hard to get a good picture and it kinda hurt. Finally, finally the ultrasound caught an open glimpse of our little baby..... IT'S A BOY!! :)

And while I did say that it doesn't really matter if it's a girl or a boy, I was hoping for a boy first since I have loved having an older brother and wanted that sort of protection for the rest of our kids. Plus all I have are nephews right now and our little guy would only be about 8 months younger than the newest ones, so it's a good age for him to have his own spotlight, but still be able to play and get along with everyone else.

So yeah, a BOY!! :)

The next big milestone was waiting to feel him move around, which I figured would take a while since I'm overweight and have anterior placenta - which means that the placenta is between baby and I which could mean that feeling movements would be harder to detect because of the extra padding. I didn't really feel him move til I was 21 weeks, and at first I wasn't sure what I was feeling, whether it was me or the little guy.

It felt like stomach rumblings, but the difference was that it wasn't a result of something I ate, or hadn't eaten. It would just happen independently from me. It's so exciting!! I would always feel relieved after an appointment just knowing our little guy was doing well, but finally I could know every day that he was moving around and hopefully doing well.

And man does he move. :) At first they were slight flutters, an occasional soft kick. I would feel him most when I would be getting ready for bed and lying on my back I could feel him move better. It was kinda magical. Just laying there, feeling him move, bonding together. And of course, every time I would call out to Lance to come feel him, he would stop moving.... it was kind of annoying because here was physical proof that I wanted to share with Lance, and our baby never seemed to cooperate.

Then as he got bigger and bigger, the kicks would be more pronounced, and the flutters turned into somersaults and finally Lance could feel him move, and I got to feel him more and more during the day.

Overall, this pregnancy has been a cinch. I almost don't like telling people how I feel when they ask, because it's been so easy. I get tired and as the pregnancy has progressed I've started taking naps (a first for me), but really other than that, I've been just fine. Just getting bigger and bigger and now I need help getting out of the couch if I lay too far back and turning from side to side at night gets hard because my center of balance is off, but I've been so lucky thus far. I have really enjoyed pregnancy. It's made me feel great. It is a little weird to know that there is a person growing inside of me, and that he has his own needs, wants and moves independently from me. But it's exciting as well.

Soon I'll be a mom - something I've wanted my whole life and I get to parent with a man who is amazing, smart and gentle, who loves kids and who I am dying to see with our little guy curled into his arms.

We just had another appointment yesterday (I'm down to an appointment every week now because I'm so close) and I am dying to meet our little guy. I'm a little tired of being pregnant, mostly because I feel so awkward and huge, and sleep isn't as easy any more, but for the most part, I just can't wait to finally have him in my arms after nine months of feeling him with me. I want to kiss his cheeks, and squeeze his fat little legs. I just want him here!! I even asked if I could be induced early, but I have to wait til at least 40 weeks (Sunday) before I can have that option. Hopefully he gets here earlier than that!! :)